Once upon a time, there was a very hot and sexy 'Bong' man named Rahul Bose who belonged to a crazy kingdom in the 'Pashchim' (West), no wait, its in the East actually but its Pashchim...oh what the hell. Although, he did not really rule this kingdom (other crazy people did), he certainly was as handsome as a prince. But one day bad things started happening in his kingdom. A ruler called Mamata Banerjee came to the throne with promises so sweet that they would make you want to puke. All went well till one day, she planned an all new big bang and blew a kiss to the kingdom where hell broke lose. All the hot/sexy/intellectual or otherwise 'Bongs', ranging from Bipasha Basu to Amitav Ghosh to Amartya Sen to Satyajit Ray to Pranab Mukherjee turned into 'Bangs'. Now if you translate the word 'Bang' into the language of this Pashchim/in the East kingdom, you will find it means 'Frog'. Basically with the kiss, flew out this new name tag that this crazy woman wanted to bestow upon the crazy kingdom - 'Pashchim Banga'. There is nothing wrong with the name really, that is if only the people of this kingdom pronounce it with the rasgolla stuffed in their mouths as 'poshchim bongo'. The problem arose when the news spread outside the kingdom walls and reached the outside world where people failed to pronounce it and kept saying 'BANGA' and the people from Banga are obviously the Bangs or the Frogs. Now please forgive the sexual connotation that the word 'Bang' might have in your head or the allusion to food - Bang, the short of Banger(sausage) and yet another sexual connotation.
The fact remains that the Bongs or the Bangs (sigh) cannot go on living their lives as Bangs/Frogs from Kolkata/Kol'kada', 'kada' being the bong word for sludge and mud on the road after rains, because its simply too degrading. And you cannot call Bongs frogs because look at the number of great singers they have produced. They don't croak. The speak and sing and write and no matter what they do they get appreciated. Just that we need to find a way around this whole Banga/Bang curse that the crazy woman has handed us down. Please help me give the initial fairy tale that I had started with a happy ending.
P.S - Maybe Hina Rabbani Khar could be the princess who kisses the bang and makes it a bong ; )
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