A Hairy Affair

Head was born hairless, except for a few strands here and there. Head's parents didn't really care right then. So what if Head was hairless? Lots of heads are hairless at birth. And the isolated strands were hope enough -- there would be hair. With great pride, Head's mom noted in the baby book, hair colour -- black, hair type -- straight. It was only when Head did not grown any hair when most normal heads grow hair, that Head's parents got this uneasy feeling! What if Head was to be hairless -- bald. Oh dear. Head was a female head. And according to the law of the land, heads, especially female ones were supposed to have long, lovely, lustrous hair! Head's old grandmother, who was always full of old, secret recipes took up charge. Egg yolk with burnt jute and juices of strange leaves were ritualistically rubbed on Head every morning. And then by afternoon, Head was washed and cleansed and more concoctions were applied. Head hated it and complained but young Heads are generally like that. Then it happened! Head sprouted hair. Intertwined. Complicated. Curls. Oh but so what? It was hair! Grandmother head said 'Mission Accomplished'. Mommy-Daddy Head said 'Yay!'. Compliments flowed in. Many thought Heads' hair was intentionally curled with jazzy electronic devices. It was only after Head's hair started growing long, that Head's parents realised that there was something sinister! Head's hair had a mind of its own! For one, the hair never sat down. No matter how much you combed it or how much oil you applied, Head's hair would keep standing up. The hair refused to look organised or neat and was always in rebellion -- looked exactly opposite to what you wanted it to look like! And then it would not grow downwards. It just would not. Head's hair wanted to grow side-ways and so it would! There was no changing the hair's mind! Exasperated, Head's parents shaved the rebellious, crazy hair off. Head was bald again. But hair grew back and much to Head's parents' disappointment; it was equally crazy and rebellious. So it was. Head grew up with mad hair that one could do nothing about, except mow every now and then, like one would mow wild grass!

Head's school only had girl heads who laughed themselves crazy at how short Head's hair was. They told Head that only boy heads had hair that short. So Head declared that she was a boy. End of matter. Head couldn't possibly risk growing her hair and looking even crazier! Could she? So pretending to be a boy head was the easiest way out. And then Head fell in love with a boy head, so she had to cancel out being a boy head herself, which was all very unfortunate! Then something even more horrible happened. Head contracted this strange illness, in which she started losing all her hair. There were tufts of hair everywhere -- on her towel, on the pillows. It was bad. Head had never loved her hair more than when she started losing it. Then the stupid boy head that she was in love with asked her to grow her hair like a woman. And so it was. Head lost her head in love and decided to not mow her wild wild hair. Thankfully hair did not grow side-ways. There was not much left of that hair anyway. In just tapered down, in this weak, submissive fashion, its dying ends making a last attempt for life. To make matters worse, Head had a bald patch, which as we know was an abomination according to the law of the land. Head despised the sympathetic glances -- "oh dear, you are so young and you are bald!" some would say. "Why don't you apply some hankypoo oil, that would help!" others said. Some would just ask, "Do you know you are bald?" Of course poor Head knew she was getting bald!   

Head left home, left town and moved to another place where no one knew her. There, someone gave her a book called the 'Rulebook for the Damned'. Thinking she was damned and needed to know what to do, she started reading it. Turned out to be pretty interesting and solved a lot of Head's worries. In it someone happened to suggest that heads must always cover their hair. And so it was. Head started covering her hair. That way no one could see her bald patch and if anyone asked why her hair was covered, she could always say she was one of the 'damned'! What fun! Head religiously covered her hair for months, till one day she realised that being a 'damned' was not that cool any more. So she uncovered her hair, and voila! the bald patch was almost gone and her crazy hair was back again! And so were Head's friends with their expert hair suggestions -- "Why don't you like straighten it man? you would look so pretty! All the boys would like you!" "Why don't you like straighten the front part and let the back go crazy? That'd be like so cool!" But this time Head knew what she wanted to do with her crazy hair. She wanted it mowed, just like a boy head! This led to more eruptions from her friends. "You look like a kid with hair that short!" "This is why no man ever likes you!" "Why don't you let it grow ya, long curls look nicer!" But this time Head knew what she wanted to do with hair. She just knew.