Wedding Woes

As a child, I hated attending weddings, not that I like doing it any better now. There was something so repulsive about those heavy benarasi saris that aunties brought out from their well-endowed wardrobes and the bright, gold that people decided to put on display. I distinctly remember the smell…something that makes me cringe till date. One of the disadvantages of being a kid is that people drag you to places you don’t want to go to. Hence, I would be dragged to these obnoxious events called weddings. Under compulsion, I found myself a reason to go…food! I went to weddings to gorge on yummy food.

Once I grew up a bit and learnt how to impose my decision, go on hunger strikes, blackmail and the like, I would always manage to convince my parents to let me stay at home. I would put on a good movie, order Chinese food and spend an evening with myself. There were times when my mom would come back home looking all upset because apparently someone had asked her if I was a normal kid and if I had friends and if I had trouble talking to people. She would rebuke me for not being social enough, for being too lost in my own world. There were threats from cousins, ‘you don’t come to my wedding, I won’t come to yours’, to which my answer always was ‘that eventuality shall never arise’.  

After 12^th standard, one of my classmates managed to get married. I attended her wedding and felt completely out of place. Thankfully, I was not close to her and I dismissed it by saying, ‘oh stupid, backward people!’ My parents had always told me that marriage should be the last thing on my to-do list and so it was. The most important thing was to make a life for myself. I have grown up to believe that if I failed to do anything with my life, I would get married. I have other issues as well, obviously, other than my ‘I hate weddings’ agenda. I cannot share my room with anyone…no, not even with the man I love. I have to stay up nights, work or no work. And no, I cannot wake up in the morning to make someone coffee and breakfast. And yes, I like drinking my morning coffee in solitude. I like having the house to myself. I love animals as much as I hate noisy kids. I cannot deal with my own parents, so in-laws are out of question. In short, I am not homely and definitely not the marriageable kinds.

All went well, till after college, one of my closest friends decided to tie the knot. And after that, all my friends ever spoke about was what they would wear at her wedding, what she would wear at her wedding, what she would wear on her wedding night, where she would go on her honey moon and the list goes on. What ate me up though was how things changed. She was no more the person I knew. She was this woman, coy and delicate, who had nothing except her man to talk about. What the hell. I could not even talk to her properly. I had nothing to talk about. We stopped having sleep overs and a girls night out was not the way it used to be. Now everyone would be accompanied by their respective boyfriends/fiancés/ husbands.

I moved out of the city but the wedding onslaught had begun. Friend after friend post on social networking sites their happy wedding pictures. I hear stories about how parents want their daughters to make a special kind of bio data to find a suitable groom. And then I receive these invitations to attend their weddings. I have the best excuse…work and lack of funds. But I realise, it is not about not going to family weddings anymore…these are people my age and it freaks me out. Every time I express my displeasure, I hear the same sympathetic reply, ‘oh don’t worry, you will find someone too’. But I don’t want to find someone. I want things to be as they are.  

Every time I see a close friend getting married, I go into depression. Not because I am not getting married but because I think something bad is happening to them, something that will alter them forever. I have a list of 3 people, and I keep telling them that the day they tie the knot, I will commit suicide out of sheer disappointment. I have no clue why such brilliant people with great careers ahead of them would suddenly want to spoil everything and get married. Being single is fun. Be married, and you are done.