I remember Professor MK from Loreto's English Department over the phone, "Leave it and come back right now. You have no clue the kind of discrimination you will face". She probably should have congratulated me on finding my place after 3 years of intellectual crisis.

I remember relatives making remarks such as, "Will they take you?" or "Will you manage?" or a "Will there be no discrimination?"

I remember my mom going "Why are you spoiling your future? Is there nothing else you can do? What will I tell people? My daughter is doing...? People will think you have changed your religion. You don't care about your mother, do you? You are spoiling your family name..." I spent months, explaining to her every single day of my life that I was doing nothing bad, nothing wrong. I was pursuing what I loved the most. That I was going to do fine.

My dad thought I was kidding, "L.K Advani will come after you" he would laugh. Little did he know that Advani was busy writing his book on Jinnah then.

I remember people suspiciously asking me if I had actually changed my religion or if I wanted to...as if the question would make me hit them on the head.

I have spent an entire year here now...in Jamia Millia Islamia's Department of Islamic Studies. The initial opposition that such an action on my part had given rise to has died down but I still am asked questions about whether I am treated like a step-child by the department. And I wish I had enough words to express the gratitude that I feel for my department.

Yes, I am the only Non-Muslim in the entire department. Many people would think that is a scary thought but actually my last one year has been the most wonderful. And I think that I owe it to my department to talk about how I have felt over this one year and how wrong people back home have been, especially the likes of Professor MK.

When I had first come here, I had no clue about the subject I was going to study or about the city. The environment itself was completely new and I was only driven by this crazy passion to learn Islam and to fit in. My department has always known that I was obsessed with Islam to the point of being a fanatic and yet they have never tried taking advantage of the situation, to force me into a conversion...something that a lot of people at home believe the Muslims always try to do. In fact, no one has ever questioned me about conversion or what I believe at all. Yes, I have been asked for Diwali sweets. But then I am always asked for sweets, every time I return from Calcutta. My Head of the Department, Akhtarul Wasey Sahab would always make it a point to call me and ask me how I was doing, if I was facing any trouble. It wasn't much but I cannot tell you how good it felt to know that someone cared. He soon became my local guardian. On Eid, which obviously I was spending alone, he made me go over by him and stuffed me with lots of good food. His wife and his mother embraced me and we sat chatting for a long time. There are moments that touch you and you never seem to be able to satisfactorily explain them. Such was a moment with Iqtidar sir who I call bhai now...who said I was his little sister and has been by my side through all the ridiculous things that I have done. When he had first called me his sister, I was so touched that I hadn't even thanked him. I managed to do it now and this time he was too touched to say anything. I went through a spiritual crisis. I questioned everything. I hated two professors in the department. They were ridiculous and I made it a point to tell them that they were. I wore a head scarf only to take it off after a few months. I went into Philosophy and then into Sufism and Mushtak Sir read every bit of crap that I wrote during that time. I had fallen sick once and I remember him coming to see me. He hugged me and I was fine. He had lost a daughter whom he missed very much and I called him abbu so that he wouldn't miss her as much. He touched my life in an irreversible way and I touched his. Sunday lunch at his place was the best lunch ever and as a routine I drink tea at bhai's. Every evening I teach bhai's kids English, drink tea and watch him lazily strolling down to say his prayers. Sometimes we discuss departmental politics and how stupid the boys are or why the Muslim community is on a decline or world politics. Sometimes its about how I should be on the Student Association again like last year so that we can plan a better trip. We have a chemistry that spans over politics, education, camping, history, navy and food. And MK talks of discrimination?

My classmates, seniors and juniors have been amazing too. I am always greeted with a namaste and maybe all the Islamic clerics who think thats not right should read this. And I greet them with a salaam. They have voluntarily offered to help me with my Arabic which I am pathetic at. They have never been judgemental about my various crazy experiments. They have supplied notes during exams without me asking. I read the translation of the Quranic verses every time the Quran is recited during departmental occasions. I represent the department while meeting delegations from other nations, attending seminars and other important occasions of the university. Sometimes I complain about how Akhtarul Wasey has made me the face of the department but then again would a discriminating department let that happen?

I feel awfully sorry when people express views such as Professor MK's. And I would like my studying Islamic Studies to serve one purpose if not more. I want people to open their minds a little and to see that there is love and goodness everywhere...that there is no point in defaming one community for a bunch of perverts...for generosity and kindness lives on in people...we just need to have the heart to see and to love and embrace one another. And people like me are in a position to convey to both sides that we as God's people are capable of so much love...if only we give a chance...